I was in charge of World War II

Not the bad parts- Dunkirk, Auschwitz, Hiroshima, all that,

but the good stuff, on the home front. I was 8, 9 & 10 then

and grew radishes in my Victory Garden. I bundled newspapers

and pulled them in my wagon to the Girl Scout leader’s garage.

I peeled tinfoil off gum wrappers and rolled it into pellets the size

of lima beans or maybe bullets. I knitted wobbly afghan squares

and rolled up bandages in a Red Cross place on Saturdays.

I helped Father be an air raid warden. He wore a white helmet

but I carried the official flashlight. We checked neighbors’ houses

for blackout curtains, requisite buckets of sand and hoses, just in case.

I can still taste Mr. Graham’s musty living room, the incense and bulbous

black teak furniture from China or Japan. I suspected he was a spy

but couldn’t prove it by the smell. Next door to him, the Doble sisters,

so old they creaked when they walked. My dog gave up canned food

for the duration and ate horse meat from a special butcher shop on

Clement St. I hauled ten pound bundles home in my bicycle basket.

The meat always soaked through the paper and dripped blood down

my jeans into my socks. I wanted people to see me that way.

We lived very near the Presidio. Truckloads of soldiers drove by and

we always waved at them but my grandmother told us never

to talk to sailors. I didn’t understand. Once on a train I met a soldier

named Gordon. He was going home on leave. We talked until

he had to get off in Modesto. Otherwise we might have been in love.

My war equipment:

1 khaki army hat with an insignia sewed on

1 canteen which made water taste rusty

and gave Ovaltine a funny smell

1 Navy peacoat from a surplus store on Market St.

1 toy machine gun retrieved from a neighbor’s scrap metal pile.

It shot sparks.

1 blue & orange Captain Midnight Shakeup Mug for Ovaltine.

1 Jack Armstrong decoder ring for secret messages

1 grey cardboard spy periscope for seeing around corners

Here’s what I wish I had kept, the periscope. Often I have wanted to see

around corners. But it didn’t work very well then and probably wouldn’t

today. And maybe that’s just as well.

— Janet Winans