A few years ago, over lunch and a job interview, I met a pet psychic. While chatting with this woman, who at first glance seemed quite normal, I learned of a meaningful conversation the woman once had with a crab.

Come to find out, this gal spoke to horses, cows, dogs and the like and, of course, that crab. What set her apart from you and me, who regularly talk to our pets and plants more than we might like to admit, is the fact that she claimed these animals talked back to her. It was her side hustle and a very serious one at that. 

As the lunch went on, naturally I hijacked the job interview to find out more about her special ability. Who cares about why she was here? I needed to know about the crab. 

As one would guess, the pet psychic has a lot of animals of her own. She had many horses, cats and about a half dozen dogs. She came with a dog that laid by her side while we talked. While avoiding the kicks from under the table from my colleagues, I had to ask, “How did you decide which dog to bring?” She replied, “He said he wanted to come.” 

This is one of those situations where you stuff as much food in your mouth as you can to try to stifle the laughter. My face apparently said plenty because my friend seated across from me abruptly changed the subject. 

The interview ended. As we walked her and her dog to her car, she informed us that her dog had gotten car sick on the way in. We stood there as she drove away and all I could think about was why hadn’t the dog warned her that he was about to get sick? 

She wasn’t the weirdest person I had ever met. She never came to work for us. Oddly enough we weren’t a good fit for her. Maybe it was something I said? 

Years have passed since I met the pet psychic and frankly, she did nothing to bolster my belief in the ability to speak with animals or to spirits beyond the grave. If anything, she gave me a healthy skepticism that gave me a chuckle from time to time. 

Little did I know that one day I would have a chance to meet a psychic whom many people deem the “real deal.” I had an up-close-and-personal encounter with the Long Island Medium herself, Theresa Caputo. I’ll be honest, when my friend asked me to go with her to this event, I had to google Caputo. In addition to her wildly successful reality show, the Long Island Medium travels the country doing live readings dressed like a mafia boss’s wife. 

I went for entertainment purposes only and when she set her sights on me, I still didn’t believe it was happening. Sure, she started with some general questions. My answers led her to more pointed questions that eventually led her to basically jump inside my soul and mix the whole damn thing up. 

When I say that she knew things only I or the person she was referencing would know it sounds a little cliché, but that’s exactly what happened. She stood in front of me in her fluorescent yellow dress and hot pink stilettos and made me a believer. She also made me cry. 

I wasn’t the same after that. I did, and still do, feel like she reached inside me. So much so that for days afterwards I could barely talk about it. I was so befuddled that I threw my wallet away at a gas station. I have since recovered but was reminded of the encounter the other day. It is still fresh in my mind. 

I’ve been thinking about the crab talker and how dismissive I was about her ability. Given what I know now there’s no doubt that the dog talks to her. I’m sure she and the crab had a lovely conversation. It’s for the best however that we didn’t hire her. That’s all we needed, someone who could let us know what horses are actually thinking