We have been invaded gophers…seemingly hundreds and hundreds, given the damage they are doing, but probably only three or four. Who knows really? While they may look cute, if you ever actually see one, don’t be fooled. The little monsters will eat the root balls of all the plants you have paid a pretty penny for and lovingly nurtured. I just read on the web that gophers can tunnel for miles and miles, over mountains even! Once their tunnel system is established, an ongoing parade of gopher families may happily use it. We are doomed!
Our family includes an avid gopher tunnel finder, Ms. ZZ Top. At the command of “find the hole” she will dig madly at a fresh mound, reliably finding the tunnel and yet never finding the gopher. This does not seem to bother ZZ, but it is deeply disappointing to us. If it’s tunnels you are after, she is your girl, if it’s gophers, well not so much.
Everyone seems to have a remedy for getting rid of the gophers. We have tried some, like traps, smoke bombs, dog poop, and sheets of dryer fabric softener. Have you ever tried to set one of those blasted wire traps?! Do you still have all your fingers? We have caught one gopher….. a success rate of about 5%. None of the other remedies have had much apparent effect.
There are many other potential remedies we have not yet been willing to try. They include a mix of flour and cement, or chocolate Ex Lax, or straight up rodent poison, or connecting your vehicle’s exhaust system directly into the hole, or a sonic vibration machine, and so on. Many of these are pretty draconian. We NEED YOUR HELP identifying solutions that actually work and are relatively friendly to people, dogs, and the planet. Don’t delay, we are desperate.