ReLeaf 85624 Marijuana Dispensary in Patagonia. Photo by Marion Vendituoli

I never thought I’d see the day that Patagonia would have a marijuana dispensary. Some would say that, for generations, Patagonia has been self-sufficient in that field. The long-time local folks took it in stride, giggled about it and went about their lives. Those in opposition loudly sipped their wine and vodka while touting the dangers of marijuana to whoever would listen, which turned out to be nobody. 

Sometime quietly in the night the pot shop opened, and everyone began to watch. First it became a mission to find out who worked there. Did we know them, and more importantly would they talk? It’s one thing to quietly sneak in the front door of the local “den of sin” undetected but when the guy serving you is so-in so’s neighbor it’s enough to send any closeted smoker running. 

That’s the thing about Patagonia, you can’t throw a rock without hitting a pot smoker. The only problem is getting them to admit it. They’ve been hiding for so long that they are not likely to admit it now, so I can only see the dispensary failing. 

Recently I heard a rumor that Sonoita would be the new location for a dispensary. What! Sonoita? I can hear the collective gasp from here. Lines of people in pajama bottoms milling around dropping the property values is a real concern. But remember, not unlike Patagonia, Sonoita has a few of those undercover smokers who would rather die than let their neighbors know that when they are all alone, they enjoy funny brownies and getting mellow by the hot tub. 

So, I propose a solution. Let’s do a swap. Sonoita, you shop here. Drive in, park without anyone recognizing your truck and fulfill your heart’s desire. Our guy won’t know you so there will be no talk. Patagonians in return will make the drive to Sonoita (hopefully not wearing pajama bottoms), park their hybrids and shop without the rumor mill calling them out. It’s a win-win. 

For the professionals, you can still hit the dispensaries in anonymity in Tucson and Green Valley with your medical cards for insomnia. The bottom line is this: a lot of people use marijuana. It doesn’t make them bad. Being a bad person makes them bad. I can see the dispensary from my house and to tell you the truth I often forget that it’s there. Will they make it? It’s hard to say. To tell you the truth I’d rather see it than a McDonald’s any day.