“Our ultimate goal, after all, is not a good death but a good life to the very end.” – Atul Gawande, “Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End”

It comes to this for us all: How do we help ourselves, our parents and other loved ones exit the world in a gentle way that maintains their dignity and integrity to the end? 

Some preparation is in order. And the Patagonia Public Library is well stocked with resources to help you navigate:

• Elder care (caregiving and dementia/Alzheimer’s)

• Estate planning (financial and legal issues)

• Creating a “good death” and a memorial for ourselves and our loved ones

• Navigating the medical system

• Coping with grief 

Before highlighting a few popular titles, I’ll share that the Patagonia Public Library organizes the nonfiction titles in the Reading Room by topic and subtopic, not by the Dewey decimal system that many are familiar with. The library staff can steer you to the books you are seeking. Below, I’ll note the section where I found each book.

“Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters Most in the End” by Atul Gawande

The author, a physician himself, lays bare the ways that the medical miracles of the last few centuries have made aging and death clinical problems to overcome, with sometimes little regard for the quality of the life of the patient. He examines aging and dying in our country and offers suggestions for a more humane way to care for our elders. Written in a natural and conversational style, it is very readable. Many readers have said the book transformed their perspective on our later years. (Social Science/Death/Dying)

“The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” by Margareta Magnusson

This book, whose author is recently deceased, is not about clearing the dust bunnies from under the couch before we die, nor is it just about giving away our old clothes. Cultivating an acceptance of our mortality is the first step, as we cast a fond look toward those who follow us, and whose lives we genuinely want to make easier. Then Magnusson outlines the more practical steps, from prioritizing which areas to tackle first and next, to getting your papers in order, which makes life easier for your family, to having discussions with them about your decisions to say goodbye to certain possessions. (House/Home Cleaning )

“Caring for Yourself While Caring for Your Aging Parents: How to Help, How to Survive” by Claire Berman 

In our modern world, dying can be a complicated and, for some, a lengthy process. The title of this book says it all. (Family/Relationships/Eldercare)

Some other titles include “Reimagining Death: Stories and Practical Wisdom for Home Funerals and Green Burials,” “Travelers to Unimaginable Lands: Stories of Dementia, the Caregiver, and the Human Brain” and “The Journey Through Grief.”

The library has an expansive list of pertinent books and materials. Ask for this handout at the front desk.