Someone once said that a picture is worth a thousand words. In my case MY picture is worth a thousand words, for sure.

I first started writing for the PRT more than seven years ago ( I think). My first story was about my experiences in the roller derby. Accompanying my column was a terrible picture of me in roller skates and knee pads and at the time I didn’t mind so much because all of it was to be short lived—one story and done.

Naturally that wasn’t to be and my “stories’ morphed into a column that needed a photo. I chose my first photo. It was me and my cat. I didn’t mind seeing it month after month and the cat distracted from the fact that it was me.

The editor at the time hated it and didn’t mind telling me every chance she got. So she took one of me that was even worse and started a small riot locally. I couldn’t go anywhere without someone telling me how bad the photo was.

They didn’t have to tell me, I knew. Imagine having 1200 copies of the worst picture of you ever distributed all over the Mountain Empire. It’s a good thing I have a thick skin.

Eventually I submitted another photo that I thought was better. It was a heavily edited former Facebook profile picture with one flaw – I had a bad haircut. Even so, I could live with this one right up until it was printed and somehow the top of my head was always flat. Bad hair cut and flat head printed a thousand plus times. I could not win.

This was the longest running photo up until now. It must have been downgrading the entire page because the current editor asked for a change. I don’t know if it’s the sideways smile, red undertones of my skin or the look in my eyes (like I’m fixing to run) but so far you all hate it and aren’t afraid to say it. I understand. Me too.

I need to let you in on a little secret. I don’t take good pictures. Never have. The only good pictures of me are taken by chance in random places for no good reason. If I sit or pose for one I’m doomed. I don’t think I’m particularly ugly. just not photogenic. It’s a disease that I have found no cure for.

I want you to look at my column picture this month closely. This is not me in the 5th grade. It’s me back in September 2018, not even a year ago. This is the picture on my PUHS school
ID. I laugh every time I see it. Now you can too.