One of our Constitution’s most cherished provisions is separation of church and state, a real testament to our founders’ foresight. Throughout history, cruel injustice has routinely been inflicted upon innocent citizens by state-sanctioned religions. (Even today, many nations acknowledge only one official creed.) Aware of this, “the framers” sought to discourage government mistreatment of minorities, or of any religious denomination.

As one desperate measure against the current pandemic, public gatherings have been forbidden, including some in-person religious services. Rather than accept the ban, certain reactive champions of “religious freedom” have staged protest demonstrations, including court challenges, accusing the government of anti-religious bias. Some congregations, despite the bans, continue to assemble, presuming, apparently, that God will protect the faithful. 

Remind me to tell you about the viper-wielding Baptist preacher I saw once on YouTube, who, bitten in the neck by an angry adder, was dying quickly and grotesquely, on camera, foaming at the mouth and convulsing. Rushed to the hospital by horrified parishioners (against his express wishes!) he survived, but his faith was not vindicated. 

There were two immense, illegal Chasidic weddings in Brooklyn recently, planned and executed in secrecy. One wedding had 8,000 guests. (8,000 guests! You’d have to be crazy, even without a pandemic.) Meanwhile, concurrently, secularist protestors challenge the recitation of Christian prayers in public schools, defending the comfort of imaginable Jains, Buddhists, Taoists, Shintoists, Ventriloquists, Hindus, Jews, Zoroastrians and Muslims among the student body – and even more to the point, of their parents, who vote. “Democracy” comes from the ancient Aramaic word d’mrocaca, meaning “messy kitchen.” It’s not hard to see why.

When separating church and state, where do you draw the line? Some Christian groups complain that they are a majority in this country and have always been a majority here. They point out that the original settlers here were Christians, conveniently ignoring the indigenous “heathens,” who were not seen as human. Democracy, they loudly claim, consists of majority rule. (It’s a self-serving view.) Some folks, including presidents, when they can’t have their way get paranoid; self-pitying. They feel that any point of view but theirs amounts to personal affront – discrimination against them. It’s sad, insane, and dangerous, but not uncommon, as you know.

You have probably heard of The Darwin Awards, which cite, each year, examples of spectacularly stupid, self-destructive human behavior, usually resulting in death or serious injury. Darwin’s name invokes natural selection. Such mishaps cull the morons from the herd, thus helping Homo Sapiens, our species, as a whole. Or so we hope.

At the risk of appearing unfriendly, may I suggest this? Just let the dumbbells and fanatics congregate and die. To do so keeps them happy and protects their sacred rights. Pandemic? Never heard of it! Reality be damned! There will be some innocent victims, of course, like the children of some of these dolts. But let’s be realistic, por favor. Most kids with COVID will survive, and kids with nitwit parents can expect a life of woe in any case. 

Allow me to ask – just to ask, s’il vous plait – if giving reckless scofflaws dedicated venues in which to schmooze, hang out, cavort and wheeze and sneeze and mate and procreate, would be such an awful idea? They’d get to exercise their rights while we impious infidels adhere to rationality—with better prospects for survival and even good health.